it will be 7 ye…

it will be 7 years in august.

7 years.

hard to believe.

7 years ago I was planning on getting married in August. I broke it off for so many reasons.

and there are days that I wonder ‘what if’…and how my life would be different.  and yet i know I made the right decision. I would have been miserable. it would have been a very bad decision…one in which i would have been very unhappy, which I was coming to understand right before I broke it off.

and yet it seems like such a different lifetime ago. Like i don’t really know that person I was anymore. I guess in some sense, I felt like it would fulfill my idea to get married by 25…to have the ‘happiness’ that i was so looking for. to be with someone who seemed to adore me. and yet there were so many aspects that become red flags that just started revealing to me little issues that I had previously been willing to overlook.

in some sense, i guess you could reflect on my fear of commitment…but at the same time, there were so many ways in which I knew i would be supressed in this relationship if i remained in it.

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