difficulty of forgiveness

I was thinking about Leigh-Ann today. She was in a serious car accident on Sunday past (3 days ago). From what I understand they were waiting to turn in the turning lane, and someone came along and hit them straight on the passenger side. The person who hit them was charged with 7 things, some of which were failure to remain at the scene, posession of a stolen vehicle, driving without a licence and alcohol in his system.

and i think of forgiveness. and how forgiveness is given to all. and that if don’t give forgiveness inspite of the circumstances we are in turn saying that we are better than God who gave us forgiveness inspite of muc greater circumstances, a life lived struggling against and giving in to Sin, something he detests with all of His being.

and i think of the fact that if I was Leigh Ann and i was in the bed in the hospital seeing days, weeks, even months ahead of me for healing and recovery…i wonder, would my heart grow more bitter (it already harbors so many unforgiven things) or would i learn how to forgive, not in my own strength but clearly in His. at the moment, with my heart where it is, i think i’d begin again to harbour bitterness.

and so I am thankful that God has preserved her life, kept her from serious harm…and she is healing. but what if the opposite was true. what would I think. where would my faith and belief and trust go. I don’t believe that just bcause people are ‘good’ they deserve more…but there are times when i think why di that person have to go,they had so much to offer the world. And yet He knows when their ‘offering’ is finished…when the journey written for them is complete.

perhaps its so heartbreaking t consider this becase in soe sense i stand in fear that i won’t get to do what i want to do befor the end of my journey is written. how incredibly selfish, since my days are covered in a grace entirely undeserved and unqualified by anything that I have done or can do to ‘deserve’ it.

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