I went into this journey having no idea what to expect. But looking back I see that I had some unackowledged expectations if what would happen. While I knew that giving up something would be difficult, I think I thought that my relationship with God would be all butterflies and sunshine. Ah yes, such a delusional place.
Instead, and I am thankful for this, tge depravity of my sin has come to be revealed to me over and over again. I see the darkness of my heart, the mistakeness if my reactions and simetines the unhelpful nature of my words.
I have not been wallowing in this (I don’t think) but it has definately become more apparent to me. I am ever so thankful for grace. I am thankful for the studies this year that the Woman’s leadership team thought we should go through, stretched and shaped me and turned a mirror on those thibgs that are in constant need of change.
So this journey has been much different than I expected and perhaps for sone its a cleansing fast which seems to be what I’ve stumbled into, though not ohysical but spiritual.
And I have come to.see in part that I have been deaf and blind as Isaiah speaks of…and that I have been astray in spirit snd am on the journey to understanding.
Isaiah 29:18-19, 24 ESV
In that day the deaf shall hear, the words of a book,and out of their gloom and darkness the eyes of the blind shall see. The meek shall obtain fresh joy in the Lord, and the poor among mankind shall exult in the Holy One of Israel…And those who go astray in spirit will come to understanding,and those who murmur will accept instruction.”