they bleed to know they are alive

I have never touched razor to skin
the marks leaving moments of truth
emblazoned on skin
its my belief
that these tattoos
often emblazoned across wrists
on the thighs
under close which cover secrets
are not to kill but to wound
to see the blood drip
to feel the slice
to know that there IS feeling
that they are alive
when everything within them
feels dead
and i’ve seen these tracks
I’ve taken in scarring from wrist to elbow
and my heart writhed in pain
my mouth silent, it wasn’t my place
but those little white lines
those marks, each a story telling
bruise me a little each time I consider
like a sucker punch to the gut
what hellish torment existed
what screams of internal agony
releasing through swift movement
flash of light on silver surface
marred by blood crimson surface bright
intelligence is not lacking
their brains are full on fire
but these cells they don’t shut off
and the voices don’t stop shrieking
and the numbness just goes deeper
and so they seek release
they seek an answer
they seek the cutting off of demon heads
and power that only blades can offer
and in the midst of it all
they bleed to know they are alive
they bleed to know they have a voice
they bleed to know that they feel
and the blood
and the scars
and the voices

live forever.

by Janel Andrews written May 28/2013

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3 thoughts on “they bleed to know they are alive

  1. Mmm, (mmm defined as like a feeling amen). This is good. Why do I get the feeling that speaking this encounter out helps in part heal you? Just wish the ones with the scars could find a way of healing for themselves.

  2. And I sit here, quietly wishing that those who cut themselves in order to feel, would understand that every stripe (cut) that Jesus took upon his back leading up to the cross was enough. He felt the pain for them. And His story, sacrificial, blood-giving, suffering story, is the story they need to hear.

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