Do I trust?

This past April I attended a retreat called Jumping Tandem in Nebraska. It meant getting my passport re’newed, travelling to a state to which I was unfamiliar and saving money like I had never done before. Thankfully my parents blessed me by paying for the conference for my birthday and Christmas. I was responsible for airfare and other expenses. God provided just what I needed when I needed it.

Since being on this journey to discover my God sized dream I heard about a conference that CCEF was having in Texas and I knew in my heart this would further flesh out my dream. However I haven’t registered yet and its in October. While saving again and working hard I began to see my savings for the trip grow. However, in the midst of this my car needed work done to keep it safe to the tune of 2,000 dollers.

I need to step back and tell a story here…because its a clear vision of God’s providence. I had three years of back taxes I had to file. I had been considering a group called Liberty tax that had good prices for finling returns. A week into considering this on a day off from wotk I got a cold call from a salesperson from Liberty who offered me 50% my return. When I told her I had others said this price would apply to the others. I brought in my taxes and I had a wonderful accountant help me. He also let me know that he could file for the years when I wasn’t working, because there was an 100 return for those who just filed. He would offer all the returns at the 50% off price, which was a blessing. I thought that the checks would come in the mail right away, and so checked every day for a couple weeks. Then I remembered the government has to process them, so I figured I should just wait.

The first check came in a month later. I cashed it and put it in a jar for saving for the conference. The next check was a big one, but was the return from when I was at school so that went into the account that I have steadily been paying my parents back with. As the car repairs starting becoming more apparent, I received two checks in the mail. When I got my first assessment of my car the guy was quoting me about 4,000. I definitely couldn’t afford that. My dad suggested I get a second opinion and that one was around 2,000. With what I had received in the two checks I had about 65% of the cost. I spoke to my parents about borrowing the rest and paying them back out of every paycheck. After making the appointment to take the car in, another check arrived on my door step which meant that I only had to pay back about 20% of the cost to them because I had almost enough money. God provided and I stepped forward without that being the case.

So all that to say that without those expenses I would be well on my way to affording the conference, airfare and accommodation without any problem. But I’m plugging away here, working more hours, saving what I make (Except for needed expenses) and I see the number growing but its a big one. And I wonder, do I trust Him this time…to take care of this. To help me to get there if this is where He wants me…? Or do I think that I’m all alone in this, trying to figure out where I can scrimp and save and try to provide for myself. I know that there is a point of stepping forward in faith, and then trusting. I also know how prone I am to trying to do things on my own.

So I’m working through this…trusting that I need to step forward and make some decisions and trust that If this is to be…he will make it come to be, and provide for me when least expected, whether it be monetary or peace giving.

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2 thoughts on “Do I trust?

  1. I’m looking forward to seeing what God is going to do on your behalf Janel. He asks that we have faith, and you’re already on that faith road by remembering the things God has done in the past. He’s faithful. As I write this, I’m hoping to win Disneyland tickets from a radio station. We made plans to go in a couple of weeks when our daughter comes for a visit. Our budget is extremely tight and to win tickets would be a HUGE blessing! Every time I hang up the phone after hearing a busy signal, I have to remind myself that God is on my side…whether I win those tickets or not 😀

  2. Praying with you, friend. Excited to see what God will do! Thank you for sharing your in the middle of it journey. I think I need to hear more stories like this and not just the tah-dah! afters.
    And this, I so get this:
    “do I trust Him this time…to take care of this. To help me to get there if this is where He wants me…? Or do I think that I’m all alone in this, trying to figure out where I can scrimp and save and try to provide for myself.”
    Bless you as you trust in Him — both in the quiet places of your heart and in your steps of faith forward and in your pronouncement of God’s goodness to all of us.
    Sending love!

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