Re-collection

Today I attended a wedding…and to be honest I hadn’t a clue why I was there.

Last year I received a notification on Facebook that my friend has asked his girlfriend of several years to marry him. I expressed my congratulations. To be honest, I use the term friend loosely. We had been best friend’s growing up…during my teenage years, but in the past five years we’d really all grown apart. There were five of us that hung out during those teen years, two girls (Meaghan and I) and the three guys (Jon, Scott and Gerard)

340466_10150398390343846_642331275_o(Jon, Alan, Meaghan, Scott, Gerard and I)

I really don’t remember how they came into my life, but I think that Youth for Christ might have had something to do with it. We attended on Friday nights and both Gerard and Scott were friends of a leader there who also was a youth leader. THey ended up attending our youth group. Through a series of events we all became a tight knit group, which others entered and left, but which we remained much of the core.

I have struggled with self worth for as long as I can remember, and I always struggled with ‘being on the outside’ of groups. I always felt that I was just invited along to things because people felt badly for me not because they wanted me there. But something with these three guys was genuine, and though I still struggled with them actually wanting to be part of my life, I’d say they were definitely a God send in my life.

I had my first boyfriend when I was 18…I didn’t spend much time with these three and it was a very painful lesson when I broke up with that boyfriend that I had to earn my friend’s back. I had done a really good job of dumping them, so it was totally warranted.

I’m not sure when the last time was that we were together, but I remember feeling like our paths were so different, I just didn’t connect with them anymore. Two of them got married in the past years, one got divorced. And our lives all went separate ways.

Today as I saw them line up and await the coming bride, I saw a friendship that has stood the test of time (i know that they still spend alot of time together) and I realized what I had missed out on by letting those friendships go. My heart clenched and I regretted my ability to just walk away from people, instead of trying to make things work. These three tremendous men stood together today as one of them pledged their love to his dear now wife.

And I was blessed to be present. He didn’t have to invite me. He chose to. He remembered those times. And that is why I was asked to go, and that is what I learned when I went. I was blessed beyond measure, and here was someone who looked beyond my turning my back on friendship to remember our dear friendship and allowed me to be part of this day. I am humbled and grateful.

1377229_10151981665243846_2065023267_n

(The three men today – Pastor Darin D, Gerard, Jon and Scott)

 

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