Empty

I am going on three weeks of feeling empty
I don’t know. Maybe I should stop filling my time with things and ask Him about it.
I am fooling myself if I think i am growing any. I am not in the Word and rarely offer a prayer unless needing help. And its always about my benefit not actually wanting him to do his thing or learn from him.
I am on b/c for endometriosis and cyst issues so I rarely have a cycle. But when I do my mood swings are INSANE. I become agitated, angry, weepy and disjointed.
There is alot of negativity being breathed at work and it feels like my brain and heart are gasping for something fresh. 
What keeps me at my job is some of the people I work with and mostly the customers. It is hard for me to see others rarely care about anything other than putting in time and going home.
I have digressed from the main thought. Enptiness. Hollowness. An ache.
When will I learn? Ask? Surrender? Come into relationship with?
And joy…I long and thirst for joy and rarely find it. Joy is in Him, always in Him. The fruit if the spirit is evidhence of His Spirit at work in our lives. What does it mean if only one or two things are present. And what about thanks in the midst of everything. What about seeing past the physical and tangible to the blessing?

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Empty

  1. This morning I am sitting in a Starbucks sipping my coffee waiting for the grocer to open.
    I am reading a book by Donald Miller about his road trip with a friend. I am nodding in agreement with his words. I glance at the window and ask myself, when did I stop taking the time to read, pray, relax?
    I pick up my phone, check email and read your honest words.
    And once again I am nodding in agreement.
    You are not alone in this. And I breath a prayer for you.
    Don says of his trek down into a canyon…..that people always comment about the majestic mountains but we need the canyons to look up as they have their own kind of beauty.
    I am praying that you find beauty today even in the simplest of something.

    • thank you for the reminder about the valleys. There is beauty in time spent on the mountains but there is also something to be said to be looking up out of the valleys. Thank you for your encouragement and prayers. Much appreciated.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s