I wake myself up out of a dead sleep to check it. The first thing I do after rubbing my eyes every morning, check it. Throughout the day its the first app I use on my phone. When I’m on my day off, you can see me there throughout the day, posting articles I’ve read or commenting on things people have shared.
And its not a bad thing. Its social media. It seems to be the new way we communicate, and I’m all in. but…
I’ve made it an idol. It takes more time then I spend with God, or with people some days. And when its a hard day and I’m struggling more often than not I look for answers in what other’s have posted, and don’t seek the Word of God and seek Him through prayer until it seems like a last resort.
and its clear I have a problem when i think I’ll miss out on something happening at 3 am in the morning….but its so prevalent in my mind, that I actually wake myself from a sound sleep to check what is happening on facebook. And my eyes are slits, and my breathing shallow…but still I persist, because I don’t want to miss out.
and it makes me wonder, what do I think I’ll miss out on. What can possibly be more important that sleeping when I’m supposed to (after all, those who know we well know that I do enjoy a good deep sleep more than a lot of other things) And it seems that my obsession with keeping up on what is happening in the world around me, has left me with the need to know…at any moment I want, what someone is thinking, or feeling or sharing (if they so desire to share). And since media is so fast moving these days perhaps part of it is not wanting to be left behind in the dust.
and I’ve read those posts about mom’s being more present with their kids, not always paying attention to the screen but actually living in the present…and i’m convicted. Because how much of my life am I living to see life around me, to God at work around me…to ask Him what he’s up to and if perhaps He might gracefully bestow a part for me to play through His leading??
But instead I fill my eyes with sights, my ears with sounds, my mind with other’s thoughts….and these are not bad in and of themselves, but when they become my heartbeat, my life breathe…there is an inkling that my priorities are all wrong and that perhaps something needs to be done.
and perhaps a lot of it is me thinking that I need others to interact with me, to let me know I’m worth while, that my thoughts are brilliant, that perhaps there is something in me that is a writer or a poet, or even more that I’m worthy of being noticed, acknowledge, perhaps even loved.
and I am reminded of the second commandment “Though shalt have NO OTHER gods before Me” (Ex 20:3) and I’m thinking that I’m placing alot of things in my every day life on to a level they don’t deserve. The things that I lift my eyes to, that I seek out for answers…are things, made of human hands and God-given ingenuity…but they are still THINGS. They are NOT to replace a relationship with the Most High God and a seeking after Him for the things that my heart desperately needs.