joining up with other writers for five minutes as we ponder a one word prompt and see what flows from our hearts and our fingers onto the page.
There have been a couple turns in the road of my life lately. In the past year I’ve had one of my best friends get married, another dear friend move across the country and another friend have to step down from mentoring me because of an overwhelming schedule. Needless to say all of these relationships changing over the past year has been difficult for my heart.
Its been hard not to cry out to God and say ‘why are you taking these people out of my life in those capacities?” and I’ve come to realize that one of the reasons was that I would seek Him more, and grow deeper in my relationship with Him. because truthfully he’s the only one whose not going to be around for only a season in my life.
Having close girlfriends has only been something that has taken place in my life in the past couple years and so to see them change and be removed in certain capacity has been very hard on me. It makes me want to stop trying to friendships and go back to being alone and okay with it because its hard to keep having things chance. And while I’m becoming more aware as I grow older that some people are only part of our lives for a season, it’s still not an easy revelation to digest.
I am thankful for the possibility of new friendships, though my heart is still struggling with the loss of what was. I still have those old friends, they aren’t in my life in the same way, and i”m missing that closeness of being fully known and still loved by someone in my tangible life.
While I was struggling with these changes, I felt that perhaps God has something even more surprising coming my way in the form of new friendships that I couldn’t’ have even imagined. And also in growth with my relationship with Him. Because when I have had close girlfriends I do come to Him but not the same as when I have very few in real life people to depend on, and perhaps that’s what he’s showing me now…my focus needs to be different. I need to grow deeper in relationship with Him, get to know Him better, surrender more of my life to Him.