#FMF – Wait

Joining with the lovely writers who gather together Thursday evening and Friday to write for five minutes on one topic, unedited…and see how it all comes together.

Wait

I’m in a period of waiting right now. I have been at my store for almost four years now and I’m looking to move to one closer to my house. There are many reasons but two of them are, 1) that I’d prefer not having to drive across the city in the storms we’ve been having and 2) they have a manager and we don’t at the moment. I had a really hard time last time we were without a manager, so I tried to get out before our last one quit but I was too late.

I was really frustrated that they wouldn’t let me move. But I understood their reasoning. Several people left when he did and that left a vortex of hours that needed to be filled. My leaving would continue to perpetuate this vortex. So i talked to the manager that is covering our store and she told me, okay give me six weeks. Its almost been a month and i’m not sure much has happened, which is frustrating…but I guess part of the journey that i’m supposed to be on.

Since i’m generally a black and white person, who doesn’t have alot of room for ‘wait’ but rather anticipates a no or a yes….i had a feeling i should just give up on the whole thing. But then i realized that wasn’t an appropriate response. It wasn’t that big a challenge in my life, i could handle it…i just needed to work through the disappointment.

And then I wondered if perhaps this was a sign that i wasn’t supposed to move in the first place. But as i’ve continued to work at my store and continued to interact with the people i like who i work with and who are customers its been harder for me to think it is a good idea. and yet i know i need a change. I’ve become more and more frustrated with the way that things are going down at the store and since i’m no longer in charge but i’m one of the only ones who knows what the standards are that is left, its so hard for me to not say anything without getting lash back from those who are in charge now. Part of the problem is that they were never trained properly in the first place, but i guess that’s not my problem now.

and so continues the waiting game. And i try to make the most of the time at the store. Because i do love people and i’ll miss them. But i think its time for a change.

END

 

five minute friday

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