#FMF – When

joining together with other fierce writers to see what streams from our finger tips when we all write on the same word for five minutes (love this community)

GO

this is one of those questions that you ask when you’re trying to get to the bottom of something. you know like why, what, when, how, etc. I remember learning about those way back in grade school. The answers were pretty straight forward back then. but these days being an adult you find that sometimes the answers aren’t as straight forward as you once thought.

back then you were searching picture books for clues and looking through short newspaper articles for the facts. and while you’re still given the facts when you’re older things seem to jump to the forefront more and sometimes there are even more questions after you’ve started asking the first couple. Sometimes what seems simple ends up being more complex then you imagined.

being older means that i tend to see more things about myself then i ever did before. i’ve always been an introspective person but sometimes that’s not always best because alot of the times when i’m processing internally i don’t have the outside input to help me get over barriers that ‘ve perhaps created myself. and so i get stuck in certain ways of thinking.

lately there has been alot of stuff going on in my head. Things that i don’t feel that i have someone safe enough to talk about them with. And that is hard for me. cause even though i’m often internal i dod enjoy a good heart to heart to kind of flesh things out. And at the moment i don’t feel like i have a person who i really trust in my real life to have these kind of talks with. Perhaps i will have to visit the counselor soon because technically i pay her to be this friend.

All that to say that sometimes things aren’t what they seem. Sometimes they are deeper then we imagine. And sometimes the answers are simply there, ready for us to pick out if we simply as the right questions.

five minute friday

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8 thoughts on “#FMF – When

  1. Counselors make great friends when you find the right one that can sit and listen. I agree that the older we get, the harder it is to answer those questions. Thanks for sharing!

  2. I agree that asking the right questions will lead us to the right answers. Your pondering is important in leading you to your next steps Praying that God enters into the middle and leads you forward. Love you girl!

  3. Finding a safe space – a sacred space – is a wonderful, hard, terrifying discovery. I have been through long droughts without that safe space and know how critical it is for your own well being. I pray that you will be able to find someone near who can be that for you, but also wish so very much that we were closer. I believe we’d have great heart to hearts!

  4. Oh friend. I am hearing your heart here in it’s not feeling safe to reach out to someone in-the-flesh with these things that are pressing on you. And smiling, just a little wryly, at the quip about paying your counselor to be this sort of friend. Because that’s what I’ve been doing, too – and it’s been one of the most healing, transformative, terrifying and liberating provisions in my life right now. I hope and trust, whether this counselor or someone else, God will provide the same for you. Love to you, Janel. xoxo

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