#FMF – Real

joining together with dear Kate and other writerly friends to get my thoughts out on a topic in five minutes. we spill our hearts….and see what results. Make sure you visit someone near you who has linked up…that’s the only rule 😉


I have found some safe people in this online community. But then i wonder, is it easier to be vulnerable when you have the screen to hide behind. I mean I trust these ladies and I’m so thankful for them…but what does that translate to in my real life? Am i pouring more into my online relationships then my real life ones?

I have always struggled with making true, deep friends. especially with girls. It took me a long time to be able to connect with girls and make friendships. I’m not always a good friend, because there are times when i get overwhelmed with the needs of friends and keeping up friendships and i run away into my head and into the quiet. I’m so thankful that God’s given me friends that give me grace in spite of that. and I’m learning in turn to extend grace in the same manner…moment by moment.

It has been my privilege to meet people in real life and get to know them and then continue our online relationships with that knowledge of a bit about who that person is in real life. I came back from the first Jumping Tandem with the idea that i’d met so many amazing people and I would stay in touch with all of them. And i’ve kept in touch with many and been so blessed. The same with the retreat i attended last year. And then i begin to get overwhelmed because I have a tendency to be needing to take in ALL the information and I have so many people to follow and speak into their life and interact with…and i start to see myself running and hiding again.

So i’m learning to take deep breaths. I’m learning that I can be me in real life and online in a safe community. And i’m learning that friendship is grown one moment at a time, with lots of grace covering the whole thing. Cause Heaven sure does know that I need ALOT of grace.


five minute friday


6 thoughts on “#FMF – Real

  1. You make me smile, dear friend. In your vulnerability and honesty. Because yes, it can be overwhelming. But these relationships online, oh they bring me joy. And really, how are they different than “in real life” friendship? Yes, vulnerability is a little easier. But it’s still scary.

  2. Friendship is grown one moment at a time. I think that’s a hedge of protection that God has placed around us so that we don’t jump in too fast. So glad to count you as one of my online friends and prayerful that we can become “real life” friends soon too!

  3. I love and appreciate your honesty here! I am one who believes in fully investing and because of that, I can forget to have healthy boundaries… I forget that I can have both… but it takes intention, and – yes – so much grace! Are you planning on returning to JT this year? If so – I look forward to meeting you!

  4. I completely relate to this, Janel! Hence my love/hate relationship with my computer. I think it’s perfectly fine to need time alone, time to decompress and let the knots unwind. Some of us are just made that way and that’s lovely. We just have to be careful to not use that need as an excuse to run away from all relationships (ummmm…guilty here). I love you heart and I’m so glad to have met you through FMF!

  5. When you’ve found that place of safety and are surrounded by friends it is a lovely place. Thank you for being vulnerable. I am new and off and on with FMF as I have a house full of little ones and am learning how to best use my time. I know some of the ladies that participate in FMF, you are among beautiful women who have very broad shoulders when you need a friend.

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