On Being A Writer – Arrange

The idea is notto live forever,but to(2)

Its been awhile since I had a space of my own to claim for writing. These days the only accessible and available spot is the coffee table in our living room. I’m sure that moving the laptop between my room and the living room makes my mum frustrated sometimes, but my desk is full of things right now and it doesn’t ideally suit me for writing.

Having the computer readily accessible I find myself easily distracted by all the things I feel I need to read here on the internet, rather than sitting to write down to what I need to do. Strangely, if i were to go somewhere else to write… I would get distracted by all the people and sounds around me. This would also drain me, so I know better than to do that for myself. Although I think about it, and dream about what I’d ideally find myself working in. A small quiet space, with just enough light through the window, a comfortable desk and a cup of coffee or something sweet on the desk to sip on. At the moment its only in my imagination.

I find myself often inspired by words that jump off the page from someone else’s writing or things that I’ve heard that I have a strong reaction to. However, i generally don’t have a consolidated place to keep track of all these thoughts. i started writing my version of a bullet journal and its been a wonderful place to at least keep track of what I’ve been writing. There are still little snippets that I’ve missed out on…but I”m trying to make more of an effort to wrangle those thoughts on the page as well for later perusal.

“There isn’t any ‘right’ way to do such intensely personal work (as writing). There are all kinds of writers and all kinds of methods and any method that helps people say what they want  to say is the right method for them” – William Zinsser

As far as setting aside personal time to declare as writing time, at the moment I just have Thursday night set aside for the #fmfparty that takes place on Twitter and then the subsequent reading and writing that takes place after the prompt. I’ve not set aside any block of time throughout the week to specifically work on something that I’ve been thinking about. In fact, I’ve written much less in the past 6 months then I have previously. I’m not sure what has happened to my muse, she seems to have taken a hiatus. but mostly, I’m sure that its fear that has captured both my tongue and my writing.

Perhaps if I was to set aside particular moments of each day to sit down and at least write something down, anything down…I would work baby steps at moving towards opening myself up to share more of myself on here. I’m not sure. There have been so many thoughts I want to work through and I come to the page ready to work it through, and that is how I do work through life, through words, spoken or written. And these days I find it easier to hash things out with a couple close friends, perhaps because I know that there won’t be rejection for my thoughts. perhaps that is what I fear most. Being rejected. And that has caused me to be uncomfortable. And thus no matter where I find myself or what space I arrange for myself, until I work at being comfortable with my voice, with me…it might not matter how I arrange my work space or my day, because I’ll still not be moving forward.

“How we spend our days, is of course, how we spend our lives” – Annie Dillard

3 thoughts on “On Being A Writer – Arrange

  1. Oh, what a poignant post. I feel for you. [The quote you used at the end made me feel awfully sad]. It’s important to forgive ourselves, I think, when we go through periods like this: sometimes it’s absence that teaches us more than presence.

  2. Janel, my friend, this post is beautiful! I don’t really have time set aside either except of course Thurs nights. And sometimes that isn’t always the first priority either, I have fear of what others think…fear of rejection too. Love Ya friend!!

  3. I love the idea of a bullet journal. That might be enough words to bring back some sensory memories. I do a bullet gratitude list everyday. That is a good thing.

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