#FMF – Yes

joining up with all those lovelies who are present over at Kate’s blog…writing for five minutes on one topic without letting that editing get in our way. Come on and join up šŸ˜‰
Yes

I just can’t bring myself to do it. I mean I think I want to. I think I need to. I know I should. But do I desire it. Will I be all in when I say the word?

I’ve been running for awhile now. Following half-heartedly along the path that I know He’s called me to. I mean, what I’m willing to acknowledge He’s called me to at least.

But the thing is that I don’t want to ask. I don’t want my eyes opened to what could be. or what is…because I’m scared. And perhaps that reveals my lack of trust.

But the truth of the matter really is…i want to be in control. Though really I’m not in control and i’m reminded of that in various ways throughout the day. But i like the illusion that there is perhaps something that I can be in control of.

but what if that desire for control leads to disobedience or a hardened heart? then what?

Because I think that’s where I find myself, when I refuse to listen, or even ask for that matter. And over and over again I’m so thankful that He’s not given up on me nor will He. But it must be frustrating to have to deal with such a hard hearted and hard headed one such as myself.

so i guess the question is after all of this…will I ask. will I listen. will i say ‘yes’?

END

five minute friday

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “#FMF – Yes

  1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts out loud, Janel. I can totally relate to that struggle. The thing I’ve learned along the way is that most of my fears end up being invalid AND that even if I misstep, I learn much from the experience. Probably the best thing I’ve gained is knowing that God truly is with me through each step and loves me abundantly through it all.

    All that to say……may your heart be softened to where He wants to take you!

    Blessings,
    Tammy ~@~
    #FMF

  2. Oh friend, I think we all have been hard headed and hard hearted a few times. Praying with you friend as you determine if you will say yes. I’m parked in the #15 spot this week.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s