Top Fifteen of 2015

How does one keep track of what they read all year…well many ways (looking back through Facebook feed, Twitter, what I’ve written in my journal…or the quotes I save on Instagram) for this post it was the latter. I have 11 pages in Microsoft Word of the quotes I copied down this year into Instagram.

So I thought I’d share the top 15 that really hit me hard. They are all connected to blog posts (or books).

  1. Healing happens when we are finally ready to be made well.
    Jenny Simmons

  2. I let myself cry, this is sorrow. And after the wave passes, grief comes in, like a lifeline. Because grief is love and remembering and moving forward. Grief is a companion. I will not be full of sorrow forever, but I will carry grief…there is a difference between sorrow and grief. I choose grief most days, but sometimes sorrow runs right through me. On those days, I can’t shake it… Grief is comforting me. I don’t need it prayed or shooed away. I don’t need help out of my grief. I think this is the hardest thing for non-grievers to understand. My grief is love. My grief is sacred. When I am fully present in my grief, I find that is when the healing is done.
    Micheala Evanow (Instagram)
  3. We like to talk more about the testimony of yesterday than the valley of today.
    Lore Ferguson Wilbert
  4. Show up as yourself, every chance you get.
    – Tamara Lunardo (Facebook)
  5. God is in the business of bringing dead things back to life, so if you want in Gods business , you better prepare to follow God to all the rock-bottom, scorched-earth, dead-on-arrival corners of this world – including those in your own heart – because that’s where God works, that’s where God gardens.
    @free_spirited_mama
  6. I am broken, and loved anyway. He redeems it all.
    Alia Joy
  7. Sometimes God rescues us from the life we’ve always wanted, and we end up with the life we were made for.
    Shannan Martin
  8. Sometimes brokenness is part of the birthing.
    Annie Barnett
  9. Everyone has scars that help tell the stories of their lives. 
    Hilary Yancey
  10. The agenda of my opinion is a crucifiable thing.
    Seth Haines
  11. There is something curious that happens when you allow fear to become your editor. Your entire being becomes heavy with untold stories. You filter dialogue and take care with opinion. Eventually, you just stop speaking all together.
    Elora Ramirez
  12. Redemption comes when we least expect it and exactly when we need it the most.
    – Kristen Welch (Rhinestone Jesus)
  13. Listen. Are you breathing just a little and calling it a life? 
    – Mary Oliver (Goodreads)
  14. You love as well as you are willing to be inconvenienced.
    Ann Voskamp
  15. Until you take the time to take your fears and replace them with faith, your brave is nothing but a word that you say in conversation instead of a word that is your action.
    Mary Geisen (Passage of Grace)

#FMF -What

this week Kate has done something unprecedented…she has allowed us to choose our own FMF word. But this has created all kinds of chaos…because what word should we choose? and how should we end our year of FMF writing? and how can I think of a word that I can think of only five minutes of things to write about?

But it seems that her prompting worked well…because there have been many who have signed up with their specific words and its intriguing this week to see what was brought to mind. Usually we’re all writing on the same thing…but this time it was up to use to figure it out…interesting what topic was brought to mind for each person.

I too am struggling with what to write about. There are many things that have popped up in my mind.

Around this time each year I remember the accident that claimed the lives of two young men with whom I had been in a school assembly (at a very small school) just that day. Christmas has become a somber event for me as a result. I am thankful for the gathering with family, for the traditions shared, for the reflection on Christ’s birth…but it will always have a bit of a cloud hanging over it.

I think of how this year has gone, much differently then I expected. The frustration of work with a manager who was very difficult to work with. The people who have come and gone from my place of employment. My traditional freak out every year in which I attempt to look for another place of employment, and then after all the work of sending out resumes, collapse into a heap of fatigue because it just requires so much emotional and mental energy…and there I stay in my job.

But there are highlights too.

My women’s group from the beginning of this year and the end of this year have been a tremendous blessing.

I have made a couple new friends whom I am so blessed through.

I have taken over leading the Resource Table at church which has been a very overwhelming but rewarding undertaking.

I have gotten to know some kiddos in the Grade 3 classroom at church and their parents which is always good in a church that is every expanding.

We moved into our new church building…after many years of renting auditoriums at schools.

Morgan and I moved into an apartment in a new to me section of town and are slowly making it all work.

and I guess that is the what that i am writing on. My past year. My memories today. the moments that have shaped me this year.

I have inklings of what God wants to do in the coming year in my life. Words He’s given me to ponder, ideas that he’s got rooting in my soul. He is at work.

 

 

#fmf – Season

joining with Kate and the others to write on one word in five minutes…seeing what it inspires in all of us.

GO

When you get older (not a child) you start to be a big more cognoscente of the changes in life, the seasons that one goes through. When I was younger we moved several times and it was always so difficult for me to leave my friends behind and then start again. But within a years time, the other friendships were a memory and I was deeply entrenched in these new people.

I have always struggled with maintaining deep and meaningful relationships. It has only been the past several years that I have been blessed to have several girlfriends come into my life who were such an integral part of growing me into who I am today.

But the hard part of these relationships is realizing that some of them were only for a season. sometimes its a short season, sometimes its longer. But holding onto people is never helpful…we are human after all. things change, people change, we move on, we move, people pass away, that is how life goes. There is only ONE who remains.

This past year has been one of being reminded of that. In the past year several of my close friendships have changed significantly to the point that only one truly remains, and it has been a season that I’d prefer not having to be in the midst of. But that is life…its a growing place, and each moment and each person is placed by the hand of God.

one of my friends who I had known the longest was married and moved to a city several hours away, another moved to follow her fiance many miles away and another went over seas to serve the Lord and teach up His children. Another dear friend who I had recently come to know and had spoken such words of renewal and challenge in my life had alot on her plate and had to change the nature of our relationship and it hurt deep. All of tehse things seemed to take place in a similar amount of time and it seemed like God was stripping away everyone that I could depend on here in my mortal life, except my extended family of which I am blessed.

And i have to admit that my first response was anger. Because he had taken these relationships from me…and didn’t He know how important these women were in my life. In fact, didn’t he know that in some aspect I didn’t know who i was apart from them? And I suddenly felt very alone and abandoned.

It has been a difficult experience realizing that relationships change, that people change and that there will be people who are only in your life for a season, be it short or long, and the key is to love them deeply but not become so attached to them that you are unsure of yourself when they are gone. and other key is to learn to cling to the One who never changes. Its been a journey of ups and downs for me, learning to trust deeply and the lean even more deeply on Him.

Even though there continues to be some raw pain in these areas, i am so thankful for those people that He is weaving into this season of my life. I am so thankful that he provides just the right friends and the right moments at the right time according to his plan. And i’m even more thankful that these friends are often those who point me toward Him time and again. He knows just what I need

END

five minute friday