#FMF – Morning

joining up with Kate and others to write for FIVE minutes on a topic that we each get to ponder on for a bit and then write unedited. its always so great to see what the prompt brings out in others. love to delve into this five minute glimpse of life.

prompt: Morning

I used to be a morning person. Perhaps there are glimpses there sometimes. But its harder then it used to be to get my head off the pillow in the morning when my alarm goes off. I have often worked morning shifts at Starbucks for the last several years, which have alternated from me being there between 5am and 6am. Sometimes I’ve lived two minutes away, other times 15 minutes so that dictates when I have to get up. I’ve got it down to being able to sleep for at least three 5 minutes snoozes before I drag myself out of my warm bed and get on with things.

It takes me awhile but when I put that apron on i’m usually awake enough that I can fake that I’ve been up and at ’em for awhile and am geared up to go. If i start too early I don’t get to have any coffee or other caffeine until my break…so that’s always a little bit fun. I mean I’ve driven across the city to get there so i’m not too out of it (i hope) but it does take a bit to get to that first break. Thankfully I’ve done it enough that most of the tasks are second nature to me.

However, I can definitely get up and at em more than I can continue to perform well after a certain part of the evening. I have done alright with maintaining stamina in the past couple years (though I don’t close too much) but in my first months with the company I could feel my body starting to shut down and my stamina starting to drain at a certain point every night. I’ve always been pretty good at adapting though..so I’ve gotten through.

The one thing that I don’t do well with though. Time changes. When I went to France we flew overseas in the middle of the night. I think that in the 10 hours that we were flying i may have dozed off for an hour. By the time I reached my destination I was exhausted but they knew that if we slept we’d never get on schedule so we all stayed up until it was a legitimate bedtime and then crashed. I don’t remember (because it was so long ago) whether I had a similar experience trying to get back onto the Canadian schedule when i returned.

I just recently traveled west to attend my brothers wedding. I believe the time difference in three hours. wow. did that ever get me. I think i was able to jump into it there, but coming home and losing that time totally threw me off. took me about a week to try to get some semblance of a sleep schedule back. I’ve never really had a schedule because my availability is pretty open so i can be required to work at any part of the day from 5am to 11pm. I’m so thankful for the days that I’m able to sleep in and just take life slow. those are the days were morning feels like its ‘meant’ to be

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five minute friday

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#FMF – Forget

Joining up with Kate and the other writers over at FMFparty to write on ONE WORD, unedited for five minutes. and then hopping around to check out what others have been inspired to write on the same prompt.

forget

I would like to forget. in fact…I had. well at least, I’d hidden it away.

It always interests me what triggers memories, moments. I’ve lived in this city for 20+ years and made memories from one side to another, and there are still days at a particular intersection, or even going into a story that I remember something that I’ve not thought about in years.

But on this particular day, I wasn’t in my city. No…i was leaving a city far from home. Heading up into the mountains with my aunt, the day after my brother’s wedding and we were going to do some sight seeing. We were on the Sea to Sky highway, which winds from the greater areas around Vancouver along the coast line and up into the mountains.

10 years earlier…i’d been on a similar journey. It was sometime between Christmas and New Years. It was the second time that I’d been to British Colombia, the previous time being when I was quite young and the details are all vague memories rehashed by my parents for my delight. But these memories, they are burned fresh. They are hard to forget. Because there is regret tinging them.

There were flashbacks of moments that I chose that came up so clearly in my minds eye, i had to physically shake my head to clear my mind. I didn’t want to revisit those choices. I didn’t want to rehash those moments. I didn’t want to think about those days so many years ago, in what seems like a different life.

I felt like bursting into tears, though being in the car with my aunt who had no idea I was visiting these moments might have been awkward at the very least. But it was difficult. and it was revealing. Because there are moments here at home, where I revisit regrets from that same relationship. And there are triggers here. But though I was cognoscente that this place held memories for me, I wasn’t aware that they would come flooding back into my mind in such vivid and heart striking detail.

i am thankful for grace. i am thankful for forgiveness. both of these things come from God and are not from me. But do i accept them fully. do i not attempt to make myself pay in some way for the choices made. do i not think that things will not be restored unless I face this pain again and seek some kind of truce? Its all so very hard to forget, when I really get to thinking about it.

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five minute friday

 

#FMF – Limit

squeaking in my entry for this past week’s FMF before this week’s prompt is given tonight 😉

Limit

i often don’t think about them. the limits of this life on earth. sometimes i just live like i have all kinds of hours and moments before me.

but the truth is…we don’t know. we don’t know what moment is our to be called home. And we live like time runs ever before us…that we’ll always have time to get to those things that we’re called to do, asked to do…and continue to put off.

i’m speaking to myself here, because there have been far too many times when I have known what I’m to do, and have walked the other direction. I’m not making a choice where I literally think ‘i’ve got so much time ahead, i don’t need to follow through now’ but i’m definitely making a choice that marks my life being lived as believing that.

sometimes i’ve been challenged to think about what if you were living in your last moments. what would your life look like? what would be important to you? and how would it change who you are adnw hat you live for? perhaps these things are cerebral or spiritual…but they are things to be considered.

because from our moment of breathe…we are all living to death. we are in a state of dying…our bodies are in decay and sometimes they show that to us faster then other times. yet we live in the falsity of believing somehow that we think we have forever on this earth.

what will it take for me to realize that the time i have is precious. that i’m  not promised tomorrow, but rather this moment. and that each breath is grace…

 

END

five minute friday

 

Thru Grace with Faith

not just for sunday

Romans 4:13-25

Notes from today’s sermon on the above passage. Hoping these words follow me through into the moments, hours and days ahead and don’t just convict on Sunday.

A promise is only as good as the character and ability of the One making the promise.

God promised Abraham a multitude of offspring and that he would be an heir of the world to come

We cannot make ourselves acceptable to God, we CANNOT DO anything to save ourselves

Our ONLY hope is GRACE thru FAITH (Eph 2:8-10) ‘By GRACE you have been SAVED thru FAITH’

Our belief is a gift of grace from God to us, received by faith.

Christ did what I could never do for myself, He gave Himself that I might live, He died so that I might be set free.

Your salvation rests on the grace of God and His grace never changes.

My faith often wavers but His grace never changes. Salvation doesn’t depend on how strong our faith is or the amount of faith that we have. It is about what God has done, not what I have done.

‘The core issue of your faith is the object of your faith’ D.A. Carson

We can put our faith in the One who gives life to the dead (Abraham’s body, Sarah’s womb)

God is the One who calls into existence the things that do not exist. He IS the God of the Impossible!

vs 18 ‘in hope he believed against hope’ believed when completely impossible

Will you trust the promises of God not to harm you but to make you holy? 

He is at work for your good and His glory.

Our faith is far from perfect, but our faith is in a perfect God

Heb 11:13 He was ‘fully convinced’ despite never seeing it come to fruition. Not everyone will see the promises given them fulfilled in this lifetime

I am declared holy and righteous because of what HE HAS DONE!

 

 

 

#FMF- Quiet

joining up (later, better than never) with those wonderful writers who throw down five minutes of words upon the page prompted by a one word prompt. Let the inspiration begin!

prompt: quiet

I didn’t notice it at first. I was too busy taking in the treetops we were floating over, the rain that was gently falling and turning into snow as we got higher up the mountain.

and then it was like a sudden realization, a dawning if you will. it was quiet. it was like we were in another world.

my aunt and I were in a gondola climbing the side of a mountain in the Rockies of British Colombia. We had wanted to see the sights from the top of the mountain and unfortunately it was cloudy. But i figured we should have the adventure anyway, and we headed up.

I truly felt that the gondola was like a highway into another world. as we kept going up, we traversed several rocks faces until we could no longer see where we had come from. And the quiet…it was so beautiful. the trees stood tall covered in a beautiful coat of white. the flakes gently drifting through the air. and we drifted to..though helped by technology.

it was such a beautiful moment.

and then I realized that how much the general noise of the everyday is something that I take in all the time, and don’t realize how loud it is until i’m in a ‘isolation chamber’ of sorts and i find my soul and heart sighing as they find a bit of time for quiet.

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five minute friday