Joining with the wonderful group of writers over at Kate’s to write on one word for five minutes letting the words just flow, with no editing. Always fun to see what one word can inspire in so many.
GROW: to come to be by degrees; become
The past couple of years have been hard for me. In so many ways, but one of the hardest for me has been the changes in my friendships.
When you are younger it seems that kids are more versatile to change, or perhaps I don’t remember as well as I’d like to. I know I moved alot when I was young and so it was a struggle to make deep lasting relationships. When we had to move I would weep and promise to stay in touch and never forget them. SOme of their names are lost to me now, some of their faces are a mere blur. But at the time I was serious, my heart was breaking.
It has taken me many years to have serious girlfriends. I was often the odd one out growing up and so to grow into these friendships was refreshing and terrifying at the same time.
Two years ago there were several friends that disappeared from my life in a similar time period. One got married and changed her proximity to where I lived by several hours, one moved to the East Coast, one decided that our relationship needed to change and one moved across the world to a different continent. Perhaps it might have been more painful in those people remained in a similar place of living for me, and I saw them each day and they simply didn’t want friendship. But in each of these instances the people were removed by circumstance or actual movement.
It took a long time for me to not think that God was taking away my friends because He wanted me to solely be reliant on Him. Perhaps I did put them before Him, but I’m not one to believe that God is vengeful like that. perhaps he saw fit to change our relationships, but this felt like abandonment of the worst kind. I’m still trying to work through this hurt.
But my eyes have been opened in the past several months to the fact that God has been filling my life with new friends, with wonderful sisters. Some I met online, some I met at the Festival, some I met in Nashville last summer, some at church, and its been a blessing that my eyes have only recently been adjusting to. I’m becoming in my friendships…its slow growth, but its there. And i’m thankful. I reflect on what Molllie just wrote in her ‘MISS’ post for last week, ‘We miss opportunities because we are busy looking for something better. We miss the blessing in the midst of a burden.’ AMEN.