Good evening and welcome to the Thursday evening where we link up at Kate’s place for the Five Minute Friday gathering. Five minutes of writing, without editing on one topic. All of us spreading our thoughts out on the page…and see what flies from our fingers.
I have been in a period of rest that is unexpected and found myself wasting away the time. I quit my job at Starbucks and moved to work at a smaller cafe. Its been quite a change and I”m still in transition. But the change is this…I gave two weeks notice and was given one week of work. Thankfully my new boss had tentatively scheduled me for a couple shifts this past week or else I would have had an entire week of unplanned vacation.
As a result I’ve worked a couple of half days but then had several other days off. Its been a bit disconcerting because the other times I’ve had such wide swathes of time available for myself, I had planned what I was going to do with my time. So i have puttered about and done very little that is helpful, but I have had some downtime which is necessary since the past several months have been hugely stressful in my life.
I wonder if all of this reflects that fact that perhaps I’ve forgotten what it is to truly rest. to find rest, to stay in that rest, to find renewal and restoration in that rest. One of the areas i find it hardest to rest in is in my mind. it seems to always be going a mile a minute and I have a hard time trying to relinquish what i think i have on my plate or the worry that consumes me and just rest in Him. I think that I’ve glanced at and perhaps experienced moments where I’ve known this rest, but they are few and far between.
rest is something that i long for. something that when i hear the word or read it in a sentence my mind and soul immediately jump up with a resounding ‘yes’ to experience. having it put into practice on the other hand is a much different experience.
Here is to finding ways to truly soul rest this year. to breathe Him in deeply and to have him calm my mind and my heart.
I am more of a reader than a writer. Perhaps I’m writer too, I just haven’t given myself permission to claim those words yet.
When I was at Festival of Faith and Writing in April, I was asked by several individuals at different publishing houses (as I perused their books) if I was a writer. I answered that I write a little but I’m more of a reader and I see myself as a champion of those who write. I was asked by one person what kinds of things I was reading and I struggled to find an answer because I often have several books on the go. I mentioned that I was still working through Seth Haines’ book ‘Coming Clean’ and really loving it.
But in that question of ‘Are you a writer’ and my answer in the negative, I felt like a bit of interest was lost. I even felt like they were saying, ‘Well, why are you here then?’ those those words were never spoken out loud (but rather in my own head). And in some sense I felt like i was on the periphery, yet another place that I didn’t belong. But there were those who I spent time with at the Festival that helped me to see differently, to know differently. With whom I felt loved, and accepted simply how I was. I am so thankful for those few who were part of that for me.
I am blessed to know of (and have met) many people who are gifted beyond words when it comes to laying down words. There are some perhaps that I compare myself, though I don’t know if I could put names down right off the top of my head. However, there are those who when I see that they have written I know that my heart will sink deep into their words and it will be a vehicle to speak to my soul.
Weather these incredibly gifted individuals become a household name or not, I am so blessed to be able to be on their side, reading their work and cheering them on to use their gifts.
There are many areas of life in which I’ve often felt that I don’t measure up. perhaps claiming the title of writer is one of them. But I do sit down and put my fingers on the keyboard and there are things recorded for future retrieval but I’m not sure that I can claim that as true writing yet.
Joining with the crew over at Kate’s who write every Thursday night/Friday morning (and throughout the week) on a one word prompt for five minutes. I love this community. It is my safe place. I am so thankful for them.
As I sit down to my computer and wait for it to load, I think of this community, this safe place. I’ve only been gathering here for a couple years but it just feels like family.
From the first moment that I got up my courage to say hi and enter into chatting on Thursday nights, I haven’t looked back. There have been seasons in which I have been unable to gather with the others, or haven’t been able to follow through on the prompt, but the most important thing that I’ve learned in this community (and tried to share with others as they join) is that GRACE is lavished here.
Last summer, this group of people met together (well some of us, it is a LARGE beautiful (and handsome (ANDREW! and other fellows)) community.) And while I was nervous, I didn’t really feel fear, because I felt like I knew these people. Like I was gathering for an awesome weekend with old friends.
And as we settled in, and found our way into cozy chairs with cold water in hand (or coffee depending on the person), walls began to drop and we were ourselves more fully than I think I’ve experienced more than anywhere else. What a blessing to be known and to be loved.
It has always been a challenge for me to believe that I’m part of a group. To know that my presence isn’t merely tolerated, but enjoyed. and indeed, in THIS place, I have found this. I have found a haven.
Thank you FMF community. I love you.