Joining up with my fellow writers over at Five Minute Friday to write on ONE WORD for FIVE MINUTES, no editing, just letting your fingers fly. The best part, linking up and then checking out what those around you have written on this same prompt. And seriously, this is my fave community on the Internet, though there are many others I love. Its been a consistent source of prayer, encouragement and friendship. I am so blessed to be a part of it.
When I saw the prompt I knew that it might be hard. Simple words are often difficult because you can go so many ways with them. I remembered immediately that I had a book from Emily Carmichael that I had downloaded a year ago called ‘If’. It was a series of reflections she had recorded and while I hadn’t read through the whole book, I thought it might be a good place to get my prompt for this week’s writing.
“If I say, “Yes, I forgive, but cannot forget,” as though the God who twice a day washes all the sands on all the shores of all the world, could not wash such memories from my mind, then I know nothing of Calvary love.”
Oh forgiveness…how I struggle with you. You go deep down in my heart…starting to form a root of bitterness. And the forgetting…its not easy. so often the list of offences committed against me are the first thing that flashes through my mind when I see certain people or hear their names.
But the question remains…I am forgiven. I have been forgiven. The payment for my sins (un-forgiveness and so many other things) has fallen upon Christ’s body and because of Him I am able to be in my Lord’s presence and His dear child.
But this bitterness, un-forgiveness and remembrance that I hang out to…they are un-confessed sin. They are perhaps confessed but still held on to…so not really surrendered. And why do I choose to carry these burdens?
Who do I think I am carrying around this un-forgiveness in my heart when I have been forgiven so much? That is something that often comes to mind, but doesn’t convict me like it should. For some reason I’ve become accustomed to carrying these burdens around. Perhaps its a control thing.
Perhaps it means looking into my heart and seeing how much I have done that requires forgiveness and seeing how other people extend this grace filled offering to me.
And the image of God cleansing the shores at least twice a day all over the world, what a picture that is. My sins have been wiped clean because of Christ, even though I struggle with sin. Why can’t I begin to life up my un-forgiveness to Christ and ask for His help in dealing with this issue.