We don’t see things as they are, we see them as WE are. – Anais Nin
When Asheritah asked if anyone was interested in joining vlogging with her, it was deifnitely something that I’d never considered doing. But when a dear sweet sister is stepping out on a branch and offering you the chance to do it too…a branch that has been proven to hold of course, I offered to step out too (along with several other sisters).
When i heard that the theme that we’d be sharing on was impossibilities I was stumped. I couldn’t even begin to form any thought process on what to speak on. And then as I listened to Asheritah and my other dear sisters sharing their thoughts on our God and the idea of impossibilities, I found myself weeping with the knowledge that much of what they spoke of seeking to overcome through Him was a struggle in my own life. Even after hearing their words and reading their posts I was still stumped as to what I was given to speak on.
It wasn’t until this past week when I had a strong visceral reaction to someone and I felt a little nudging in my soul that I realized what a large impossibility seems to be in my life…loving others as God loves them.
Its so easy for me (as I work in retail and see people constantly all day) to classify them instantly in my head and to treat them as I deem them, without knowing a blessed thing about them. There are times when I’ve forgoten to remember that people are going through things too and aren’t always going to reflect a smile my way or interact with my little slice of conversation that I’m offering.
The person who I reacted so strongly to however, is not one of these unknown people. Well I do not KNOW him in the sense that I have really any knowledge past what I’ve observed and heard in the past several years, but my reaction to him is firmly ingrained. I have a severe dislike for him, to the point of even uttering the words one day to someone ‘I have no use for him’.
Upon uttering those words, I felt a little stirring of something in my gut. Something that said, ‘that’s not right’ and I realized that though he gets right under my skin and I can’t stand the way that he treats people, that He is loved by His Creator God who wants to be known by him. And my heart is chastised because in my actions and my words the last thing that I’ve ever done is begin to let him know about this love in any form, or that I’m striving to be a reflection of it in my own life.
Several verses rotated through my mind as I pondered this. First of all, when Christ was going against all cultural norms and had gone to spend time with Zaccheaus at his house. Spending time with Christ wrought a difference in Zaccheaus life. Upon his proclamation that He would give back what had taken and make restitution Christ declares “Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house…For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (Luke 19:9-10)
And I find that I am reminded that sometimes my self-righteousness gets in the way of what God wants to do through me. That I start thinking perhaps there is something that I’ve done to deserve what I’ve received and that I should receive a gold star for staying away from sin and not being like these other people that I so quickly judge. And yet upon the examining of my heart, I find that I’m right there with them. I’m not sure where the thought that some things are worse then others, some actions or words are considered worse sins then others…its all sinful and all repulsive before our Holy God, and only not constantly because of Christ’s shed blood covering these offenses. And I am reminded that “t is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Mark 2:17) And while my sins are covered by the blood of Christ, that does not exempt from being considered a sinner in need of CONSTANT grace that is being poured out on me.
So the impossibility I saw in my life is this…I’m unable to love people, as Christ loves them, without Him. And when I seek to interact with people on my own terms, I so often get it wrong and fail to reflect who He is. However, my Lord is bigger then all my failings and fallings and He loves these people and shows Himself to these people in ways that don’t always just include me (And I”m so thankful for that). But i’m also thankful for a GOd that impossibly loves me inspite of me and who uses me despite the things i’ve said and done. I’m thankful that what often seems impossible to me, is made possible through Him.