#FMF – Turn

FMF – Turn
They litter the lawn
Bright yellow heads
Point their faces
Heavenward

Sometimes
So many gather
A sea of gold
Greets my eye

And while
We often seek
To banish them
From lawn and garden

There are those
Who use them
In salads, tintures
Even as a herbal tea

And as the days pass
The heads begin
Their decay to seed pods
And they resemble clouds

With the slightest breeze
They turn to airborn parachutes
Lifting each seed from
Its tethered hold

The golden sheen
Has turned airborn
New life lifts
On cloudy whisps

– – – –

Joining up with Kate and friends as we write for FIVE minutes on ONE prompt and see what happens on the page.

Image: Unsplash – Dawid Zawila edited in Canva

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#FMF – Other

Joining with my dear friends at Five Minute Friday as we write for 5 minutes on one common prompt and then see how others have had it speak to them.

Prompt: Other

The fence separates
I’ve never ventured
To the other side

I can see what lays
On its other side
But i can not know it

I try to make use
Of my other senses
To try to steal its essence
But though the fence has gaps
It is willing
To relinquish nothing

The posts are buried deep
The wires stretch taught
I dare not test my finger
A prick of blood
To know it exists

I wonder what
I am being kept from
What is this

Other

#FMF- Release

This week’s Five Minute Friday prompt is RELEASE. Come join us at http://www.fiveminutefriday.com to link up – – – –
The sky is filled
With floating lanterns
As far as the eye can see
We all look heavenward
As the lights
Fill the darkness
With their brillance
Casting shadows
On this inky night

These lanterns
Held in hands
That carefully selected
Each one
Had memories whispered
Rememberences
Hopes, wishes, dreams
And they filled the lanterns
To overflowing

And as the ignition
Was lit
And the fire
Began to fill
The space
The parchment
Glowed
With what it contained
Thoughts,words
Dancing in the light

Hands reach heaven ward
Fingers release the lights
And in this heavy night
They begin to rise

The words spoken
Fly onward
Into the sky
In the twilight
Of floating cylinders

And there is
Release

Image: Unsplash – Austin Neill modified with Canva

#FMF – Routine

Joining up with my friends and community over at Five Minute Friday

Prompt: Routine

There is something to having a series of steps to follow.

I am the kind of person who needs to write tasks down to make sure I keep things in order, but I also don’t like being locked into a list.

Usually my routine in a day would revolve around my work schedule, but since I have been out of work for several months that hasn’t been the case.

I have had to create a list of tasks to get done in a day and in turn in the week so that I am productive in my activities rather than just letting time pass in mindless activities.

It has been good that I have been able to attend seminars, work on resumes and visit with friends so I have things to make a routine around.

End

#FMF – Tired

Joining up (at the last minute) with my community over at Five Minute Friday.

Writing for five minutes on one topic and seeing what it brings to mind. Always a good challenge. Also always intrigues me how so many can write on the same word and have different takes on it.

Prompt: Tired

I’ve been out of work for two months now. Its been a hard time of trusting God has something for me and then doing my part to get things moving.

The act of resume writing has always been exhausting for me. I am not sure if it is my perfectionist leanings or my lack of self-esteem, but it is a long process. I have a hard time expressing how I can fulfill the role requested with my particular skills. Thankfully God directed to me to an Employment Ontario group who have given me a much broader range of skills. I am still tired while doing the writing and organizing but I know that I have resources. I get in my own way sometimes, putting off things because just thinking about what needs to be done overwhelms me. I have missed out on some opportunities as a result. It is easy for me to start the list of berating words that let me know how I actually feel about myself no matter what kind of pulled together front I take with me into interviews. Fear and not alot of belief in myself have definitely been a hinderance on this journey. But this time I see them and I am learning o fight back.

End

#FMF – Privilege

Joining up with a whole bunch of fabulous writers over at Five Minute Friday, to write for five minutes on one subject and then head on over and see what others have got to say as well. One of my fave communities to be a part of.

This week’s prompt is a tough one.

Privilege
(v) to exempt
(n) a right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most

“The task of calling things by their true names, of telling the truth to the best of our abilities, of knowing how we got here, of listening particularly to those who have been silenced in the past, of seeing how the myriad stories fit together and break apart, of using any privilege we may have been handed to undo privilege or expand its scope is each of our tasks. Its how we make the world.” Rebecca Solnit

Privilege is such a complicated subject. Especially when it comes to the way that we relate to each other.

I was aware of my privilege at a young age, though I had no name for it.

I visited a friend’s home for a play-date one Saturday. I had a fabulous time. But what i did notice is that they had two chairs at their kitchen table and about 8 people who lived in the house. They had bunk-beds in their rooms but most shared one bed, but because they didn’t have enough blankets to go around and keep everyone warm.

At my home, I had my own room. I had my own bed. We had extra chairs at the table and not enough people to fill them.

another time, after my birthday party we took my friend home. We drove for quite some time on a road that seemed to meander endlessly. The marker for her home came up and we turned on what seemed to be mere tracks leading onto property. When we arrived at her home, my eyes grew large. I am not sure if I said anything but I’m sure she saw it on my face. She lived year round in the frigid cold with her family in a re-purposed School bus. I didn’t see inside but dropped her off and said thank you for coming to my party. I cried all the way back home. I couldn’t believe that people had to live like that.

And I don’t know the situations of each family. I don’t know what brought them to the place of having little, while I had much more. But it broke my heart. At that time, I don’t think I truly grasped the poverty that I found myself in the midst of.

I’m much older now, and see a bit differently then I did then.

The question seems to always be, how can I help. Some would say that asking that question seems to move privilege along. What then is the next step? I hear lots of people shouting that there needs to be steps taken, but I’m not sure where one begins to lose privilege and pass it on to someone else, or if that is even possible, or wanted.

I long to listen, to have this conversation, but how do you approach these questions without somehow coming across as thinking you might have something to offer. Is that what is wanted in the first place?

I don’t have the answers. I don’t think I need to. But I do want to understand better.

END

 

 

#FMF – Agree

joining up with my people over at Five Minute Friday, where we all write for five minutes on the same word and then see what other people have to say 🙂

this community is such a great place. So thankful to have these people to “hang out with” on Thursday nights on twitter, before Kate releases the word for the week. Come join us around 830EST (I think) on Twitter with #fmfparty.

prompt: Agree

to be consistent; harmonize

When I lost my job the beginning of January, it was a very confusing time for me. I understood that I had been ‘let go’ because of a variety of reasons. My boss had mentioned that I was ‘not working out’ but didn’t divulge anything more on that, and also suggested that there was some restructuring that needed to be done. So I assumed that I had been let go. Never once did he say ‘fired’ or terminated’.

Within the week I was in touch with my other boss about my Record of Employment, which is required in Canada to get Employment Insurance (which is a part of your paycheck that is withheld that you can tap into if out of a job and needing a bit of income, but is very minimal). Anyway, she indicated to me that she would send it after my last paycheck of Termination pay.

Termination? What?

I started freaking out. Had I completely misunderstood and they had fired me? I was disappointed that I didn’t have a job, but kind of understood that it was a result of economic changes and that there wasn’t enough work to be done nor money to pay for it. Perhaps when he was offering me reasons for letting me go (or what I understood to be this) i started reading into what he said and making up things that weren’t said. I don’t know.

I knew that what my employer put on my Record of Employment for our seperation would influence the governments amount of money to give me or even give me any. So after finding out that my ROE had not been submitted when I anticipated, I got in touch with my former boss and she informed me it was sent.

I called the organization this morning to see if my paperwork was together and all filled because now I”m a couple weeks behind on receiving anything because of the paperwork. And the gentleman informed me that it was listed that I was terminated from the employment.

So now my account has to be looked into by another person, because we have different stories that don’t agree with one another. *sigh*

There is so much stress looking for a job. I’ve never been good at selling myself and that’s totally when you have to do. I attended a workshop at an Employment councilor that talked about ‘How to keep a job once you have it.” There were alot of things that were hard for me to swallow, because when I was employed I thought I was a pretty good employee. There were some things that I acknowledged that I slacked on, but i didn’t think it was any more than anyone else. I learned I was wrong.

And now that I’ve been pondering these words ‘terminated’ I realize that the last job I left had the same outcome….even though I was told they were letting me go as well. But that was an attitude issue and I had a whole lot of other issues with that whole situation.

its hard when these types of things don’t agree and its a whole lot of ‘he said, she said’ going on.

END